2013 March

Our New GC members

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Scout Boxall

Scout Boxall is the Female Fresher Rep for 2013. When not chairing OCERC meetings, she may be found sealing letters to Stephen Fry inside coke bottles and sending them to the Motherland. She may seem like the quintessential indie gal, but to pigeonhole her would be a mistake. Read More

Dear Major Australian Political Parties

Posted by | Opinion, Ormondian | No Comments

Dear Major Australian Political Parties (MAPP),


We’re through.


It’s not me. It’s you. You want to treat me like an idiot, like someone who can’t string more than three sentences together? I’m not going to put up with it anymore. You won’t put out. You’re not consistent. I know you have ideas, but you’re not really sure what they are. The other side has no idea what in God’s name it’s doing. Instead, you’re scared; crying in the corner when no-one’s looking. Please, perhaps you need psychotherapy of some sort? Just make up your mind what you want and stick to it. Read More

Past, Present, Future

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The Ormondian team thought it prudent that we document the progress made by some of our older students, perhaps showing us what they learnt (or didn’t learn) over the course of their time here. This process was started when they were wee Freshers. We used our powerful and convenient time machine to travel a few years into the future to see what’s in store for these lucky few. Here are the results. Read More


A Beginners Guide to Perth Lingo

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As you may have noticed, the current fresher cohort contains a plethora of students from the Wild, Wild West. While on the whole, we Perth people (Perthians? Perthenese?) are a well-meaning bunch, our strange customs have incited resistance to this alarming diaspora. At an underground nativist rally in the JCR, one second year was quoted as saying “they took our jerbs!”

To live in harmony and allow for the free flow of ideas between two vastly different cultures, here is a glossary of terms that haven’t quite made it across the Nullabor: Read More

The Ultimate Ormondian

Posted by | Creative, Ormondian | No Comments

Mouth – Amani Green

Amani means communication. Or so we’re told. Over and over.

Left Eye – Dinu Kumarasinghe

Diversity is a College Value. No one sees the world like Dinu does.

Right Eye – Alex Cameron

The eye of the wooing, like the Basilisk but instead of dying you fall in love.

Nose – Ebony Westman

The life of the party and the party of life, Ebony loves to rail shard off challenging surfaces.

Ears – Caitlin Clifford

Caitlin is a really great listener, especially when she’s the one talking.

Hair – Arthur Rothery

Soft as silk with a bounce like a hopped up kangaroo, Arthur’s hair is the envy of the shampoo and conditioner industry.

Forehead – Will Mosley

For most, the forehead is a wasted stretch of face. With his, Mosley commands a room.

Jaw – Matt Brown

Matt has often said the basis of a good relationship is mutual trust, friendship and stellar facial structure.

Cheek bones – Jules O’Donnell

A man is only as good as the height of his cheekbones, and Jules is one of the goodest and the highest.

barber logo


Posted by | Ormondian, Review | No Comments

Today, urban consumer life can be an impersonal experience. Grocery shopping sans human interaction is business-as-usual. The checkout chick was kidnapped by Siri and the gang. Now she’s a bussy at Room 680 and spends her nights sobbing uncontrollably. While I can’t save her, my mission is to rediscover one of the last vessels of communal transactions: the barbershop. Read More


Literotica: The Sandwich Comes First

Posted by | Lighthearted, Ormondian | No Comments

As she swiped herself into the servery and pushed her way through the cold, metal bars, she felt the heat pulsate from behind the glass partition. Her hands moved to grasp a plate; it was fresh from the dishwasher, warm and moist. The choice of meal was difficult; did she want a hot dog, or a salami sandwich? It was impossible to decide, but she felt herself drawn towards the sandwich bar. Read More


From the Chair’s Chair

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Sitting in The Sun Room as ACam processes reimbursement forms and Taylor explains drug addiction amongst Jazz musicians, I contemplate just how eventful the last month has been. 2013 promises to continue along this exhilarating trajectory, and your GC has a vision for what it seeks to achieve along the way. Read More


Live from The Peanut Gallery with Will and Ellie

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#Spillard #Shenanigans

Planned productive afternoons quickly devolved as our political junkie alter egos came out of the closet. Initially, there was a sense of Déjà Vu. Both of us remember being in high school and huddling around a computer to watch Rudd’s teary farewell and Gillard facing her first question time. Then, it was something unusual and a moment of “political history”. Read More