Ormondian Contributors

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The Ormond Machine

Posted by | Lighthearted, Ormondian | No Comments

As the day of my induction into adulthood rushes towards me, I can’t help but wonder on how I ended up in a place like this. A castle.

As a kid, I guess everyone (no matter how vehemently they deny it today) waited for their Hogwarts letter, wishing that a gargantuan, umbrella-toting bikie would break down the door of their rented lighthouse, punish an abusive sibling with hoggish anatomical attributes, and invite them to live in a magic castle. Read More

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Agony Aunt

Posted by | Opinion, Ormondian | No Comments

 Dear Aunt,

We’re pretty lucky here at Ormond to have a fully-catered college. People cook our meals and clean up after us. That means that I can leave a plate with a half-finished meal anywhere around the college and it will just be dealt with. Isn’t that fantastic?

Spoiled Brat

Dear Spoiled Brat,

 

Here’s a simple questionnaire for you.

1. Are you over the age of ten?

2. Did you say something vaguely positive in your Ormond interview, in response to a question about communal living? Read More

Grammar 101 – me, myself, I?

Posted by | Opinion, Ormondian | No Comments

With Microsoft Word’s ‘Spelling and Grammar’ window only a click away, it’s easy to see why this most imporant subject is skimmed over in today’s school curriculum. Why endure tedious grammar exercises and learn the often obscure rules of the English language when the computer corrects your mistakes anyway?

This seems to be the prevailing attitude towards the teaching of grammar, but we sometimes run into difficulty when that familiar green line appears under a sentence and Word instructs us to consider revising our fragments. Read More

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Back Gate Etiquette

Posted by | Lighthearted, Ormondian | No Comments

Every Ormondian will be familiar with the dilemma of back gate etiquette: the question of when and for how long to hold it open for an oncoming resident. While our proxies give us entry to Ormond with a simple swipe, we feel obliged to hold the gate open when we see a resident coming along behind us. Read More

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Anzac Day Debate

Posted by | Opinion, Ormondian | No Comments

Should we embrace Anzac day as playing a formative role in Australian nationalism?

Military achievements are exalted above civilian ones; events overseas are given priority over Australian developments; slow and patient nation-building is eclipsed by the bloody drama of battle; action is exalted above contemplation.

What’s Wrong with Anzac? The Militarisation of Australian History’, p.173

It’s important to commemorate the sacrifices of soldiers past and present. But for me, ANZAC Day refers to the unique experience of male soldiers on the frontline, driven to extremes by force of war and survival. How can the figure of the ANZAC – a white, Anglo-Saxon male – be seen to represent what it means to be Australian in 2013, when this image excludes women and the diverse racial groups that make up contemporary Australian society? Read More

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The Power of Pants

Posted by | Opinion, Ormondian | No Comments

It’s eight pm on Wednesday 11 April, just moments before the start of A Scholars’ Affair. Visibly dishevelled, and bearing the undeniable fragrance of post-Pantry Service, I consult my wardrobe. Swiftly, I choose a pair of geometrically patterned, navy, silk pants; a seemingly inconsequential decision. Armed with a black top, red lipstick and shampoo I rush for the Picken A showers, subsequently arriving at A Scholars’ Affair fresh, clothed, and fashionably late. Read More

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Zoom Out

Posted by | Briefing, Ormondian | No Comments

The buzz subsided. Turf lost novelty. Laundry looms in large piles in the corners of your room.

Lectopia is your home page. The Spot is too far. The Age just went tabloid.

And everyone is so goddamn talented, except you.

What are you doing? Who said you could be here? That clear-cut career path is swamped by too many alternatives. Read More

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We Will Rebuild

Posted by | Briefing, Ormondian | No Comments

It was a quiet morning in the Ormond Academic Centre. I’d settled down into an enclave conveniently close to a powerpoint, headphones on, keyboard at the ready, about to smash through some study. Moisis was yelling incoherently about some cause we should all believe in, Lex Thompson quietly judging the Freshers laying garries in the corner; it was going to be a good day. Read More

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It’s all in the small

Posted by | Opinion, Ormondian | No Comments

Recently, munching on some Indian spiced nuts at a free vegan dinner at North Court with an Ormond pal, I had it put to me, “Why would you spend that much on a college? You could take all that money and rent a penthouse!” While explaining the pros of College, I couldn’t help but feel what I was saying didn’t hit the spot. Read More