As you may have noticed, the current fresher cohort contains a plethora of students from the Wild, Wild West. While on the whole, we Perth people (Perthians? Perthenese?) are a well-meaning bunch, our strange customs have incited resistance to this alarming diaspora. At an underground nativist rally in the JCR, one second year was quoted as saying “they took our jerbs!”
To live in harmony and allow for the free flow of ideas between two vastly different cultures, here is a glossary of terms that haven’t quite made it across the Nullabor:
‘Ow ya garn? – colloq. How are you going? The objective of this phrase is to sound as
Australian as you can, achieved by reducing the amount of syllables as much
as possible. Pronounced correctly, it should resemble a grunt (yg) followed by
an elongated “aaarrrrn” For the truly advanced, this can be interchanged with
“whotcha bin darn?”
Martin – n. An attractive lady. Note: stress the “ar” for full effect. Can also be used as an
Juvie – n. Short for juvenile. Anyone younger than yourself. This gives way to the
morally ambiguous sport of juvie hunting.
Tinned – adj. Drunk, frothed. Derived from the latin “tin”, describing the outer
coating of the iconic Emu Export (‘sport).
Hell – adj. We occasionally use this in place of the word “really”. Don’t ask me why, I
ns –colloq. No Shit –> N.S. –> ness –> nsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsns (advanced).
Birding – v. To woo. Derived from the noun bird (see Martin).
Chiming – v. The act of awkwardly dropping in to a conversation.
Rooster – n. Leader. Good bloke. Typified by the phrase “get around him” (typically
masculine, but not exclusive to males).
Battler – n. Someone who routinely struggles, often due to the influence of alcohol.
Turbo – n. Someone who balls so hard.
Dusty – adj. Hung-over. Hungdog millionaire. Again be creative with puns, such as
“I’m Dustin Martin”.
Mare – n. Short for ‘nightmare’. Just generally having a bad time. Advanced: Try
making bad puns, such as the popular “Mare Quimby”.
Hey – colloq. An entirely unnecessary word attached to the end of a sentence to
transform a statement into a question.
So next time you walk past someone from Perth on Picken lawn, don’t be afraid
to ask how they’re “garn”. We’re always keen to have a chat and shout you a