Dear Major Australian Political Parties

Posted by | March 26, 2013 | Opinion, Ormondian | No Comments

Dear Major Australian Political Parties (MAPP),


We’re through.


It’s not me. It’s you. You want to treat me like an idiot, like someone who can’t string more than three sentences together? I’m not going to put up with it anymore. You won’t put out. You’re not consistent. I know you have ideas, but you’re not really sure what they are. The other side has no idea what in God’s name it’s doing. Instead, you’re scared; crying in the corner when no-one’s looking. Please, perhaps you need psychotherapy of some sort? Just make up your mind what you want and stick to it.


MAPP, you need to learn that sometimes there are things more important than what people think of you. I know you rely on that in your world, but it’s not as important as knowing what you want. Just please, for once, say something and stick to it. Maybe one day you will have a comprehensive vision rooted in well thought out analysis incorporating philosophical and sociological thought. I know that might be a little too much, MAPP, but I’ve had such high expectations of you.


You’re not doing everything wrong. You’re sick, but you’re okay at keeping the finances in order. I do still think you’re giving our money away to the wrong people. MAPP, you’ve lost your guts, and I think Gina China is using us for all we’re worth, but you don’t know how to stand up to her.


Oh, MAPP, how I adored you for what you were; your beauty and your flaws, but every day it gets harder and harder to see you that side of you. Your elegance, grace, integrity and intellectualism have vanished. Remember the chats we used to have? About education, reconciliation, and how we can get along effectively with our neighbours? What happened to those? Is it because we’ve been so financially stable? Money isn’t everything, you know. It can’t replace thought, and it’s not going to last for ever.


So that’s it. I’m breaking up with you. I’ve met some lovely political parties in Europe. They’ve had a bit of a troubled history, and some are awfully bad with money, but there are a few I’m just really comfortable with. Simply put, I really enjoy being inside them.


I wish you all the best, and give me a call when you’re ready to talk sensibly again.